So Close To The Edge

I am a mixture and variety of feelings and emotions. I cancelled my work experience. I went yesterday, some was good, most was boring. They don't have much on because it's near Christmas so I asked if another time was more appropriate such as in the Summer. She said "yeah that's fine."

So now i have more free time this week. Lets get the simple things out of the way. Work (not experience) was major boring. You'd think it would be busy, almost being Christmas and everything but no. I'm worried. The shop is sinking and I don't want to go under with it.

Got work again today, just had a shouting match with the sister because she wanted to go shopping and to the cinema but i simply don't have time to do both because I have work later. I wish she'd hurry up and grow up and realise that we have responsibilities in this life.

I gave my sister my old jeans which are too big for me, and it turns out they were too small for her! I know it's cruel but I feel like dancing or something at that thought. She's 4 years younger than me.

Guy from work (R) has been questioning our relationship. He keeps saying, what is this? I agree it is confusing, the amount we flirt anyone would think we were a couple, or at least liked each other. The thing is, I don't see him like that and he's still getting over his ex (maybe I'm still getting over mine?)

Last night we stayed up until 6 in the morning just talking and flirting. We've arranged to go out tomorrow, that should be interesting. He's a good friend and I don't want it to develop into something more.

The other person, P. I can't get him out of my head. I haven't been able to speak to him since (broken phone, lives reasonably far away) so I don't know how he feels. He's one of those people who flirts with anyone who will give some back, you know? I'm worried that's all I am to him.

I used to fancy him, before I got with the ex. At the time he fancied me as well but we didn't know each other well enough to do anything about it. Then I met the ex and... Me and P continued to speak and we've grown closer and closer. I think I'm liking him.

On the other side, i logged in to facebook, went on the ex's profile and he's already changed his status back to single. So that lasted, what? A whole 2 days! Was it worth all the being bitchy to me. No!

Also he's changed him little "about me section" to life is fucked up as usual. Okay, I crave attention sometimes, but he is the biggest sob story ever. At least I don't let the whole world know every time something goes wrong.

I should go talk to the sister. I'm seriously lacking in Christmas gifts and since it's only 3 days away that's something I need to get on top of... Unless my daddy loves me enough to take me places :P

Eating wise it's not good. I'm sure it'll settle down soon though. On the bright side my weight isn't really increasing, just fluctuation between 136-139. Once I'm back on track it should start going down again. :)

And BTW, thank you so much for your comments on my last post, your all lovely and you keep my spirits up :) Love you all xxx