Yeah this updating thing isn't going well is it? Well anyways I have been very very busy and over the moon happy :)
I'm no longer single and yes I love him. He's the sweetest guy ever!! Last week was good, I got asked out, I had other boys flirting with me which boosted my confidence, I spent time with friends, I met up with people who I haven't seen in ages, I spent time with R <3
Now this week isn't going so well. My internet is playing up, my phone broke and I lost all my contacts, R is being iffy about mine and the besties friendship (we are really close and tell each other everything. Well almost :P But he's used to his privacy and he doesn't like the fact I'm reporting back to her all the time. Fair enough.)
Weight I'm still exactly the same. No Gain. No Loss. This is taking effort. My friends just told me she's trying to drop 2 dress sizes by prom and already im using her as competition. This is good, this is more motivation, it just keeps coming. I'm not eating dinner tonight :O
Loving You Me At Six's new album, it's on permanent repeat!! Will recommend it to anyone - "Hold Me Down" Give it a listen :)
Love you all, I'm going to try and catch up with your blogs now as well :) xxx
Wednesday 20 January 2010
Monday 11 January 2010
Keep Going
New motivation, a friends birthday. Hopefully I can get ID and go to town with them. Theme: slutty fancy dress. Time for some major quick weight loss so I can feel as sexy as the rest of them look. :)
Up To Date
So much for updating regulary, I have been busy though. When I say busy I mean seeing R from work, seriously almost everyday this week when I should have been making the most of no school and revising. We get literally a whole extra week off because of the snow, and yet I have yet to open my psychology folder. I have skipped school today to revise so I'm going to make this quick.
Yes well. Me and R are kind of seeing each other. He doesn't want to go public because his best friend disagrees with us. He thinks its too soon after R split from his ex and the fact his ex still cares about him greatly. R just wants to keep the peace which is fair enough, but in the meantime we're seeing each other secretly.
Everytime he kisses me my heart jolts. Everytime he touches my bare skin my stomach kind of flips. Sounds like cheese but it's true. He says the sweetest things as well, he actually makes me feel good about myself. I love spending all this time with him because when he's with me I feel like I have nothing to worry about.
On the weight side I've started gaining. This always happens when I get into a relationship because I feel so happy. I haven't yet gone back up to 140 pounds though, I'm going to start making a conscious effort again common think motivation.
R is shorter than me and dead skinny meaning he weighs less. I want to sit on his lap without panicing and appologising for my heaviness. I want to be able to feel entirely comfortable with him touching my body. I want to wear better clothes which cling to my body rather than baggy hoodys. I want R to be happy to be seen with me. I want to be happy within my own skin. I want to have a real new york shopping spree.
Now if thats not motivation I don't know what it. Anyways I better hit the books, putting it of is not going to help. Thats one of my new years resolutions. I still haven't posted them on here and its practically the middle of January now. I'll post it later today during a revision break.
Hope your all doing well, I shall catch up on reading your blogs soon no doubt as an excuse not to revise!! Love you all xxx
Yes well. Me and R are kind of seeing each other. He doesn't want to go public because his best friend disagrees with us. He thinks its too soon after R split from his ex and the fact his ex still cares about him greatly. R just wants to keep the peace which is fair enough, but in the meantime we're seeing each other secretly.
Everytime he kisses me my heart jolts. Everytime he touches my bare skin my stomach kind of flips. Sounds like cheese but it's true. He says the sweetest things as well, he actually makes me feel good about myself. I love spending all this time with him because when he's with me I feel like I have nothing to worry about.
On the weight side I've started gaining. This always happens when I get into a relationship because I feel so happy. I haven't yet gone back up to 140 pounds though, I'm going to start making a conscious effort again common think motivation.
R is shorter than me and dead skinny meaning he weighs less. I want to sit on his lap without panicing and appologising for my heaviness. I want to be able to feel entirely comfortable with him touching my body. I want to wear better clothes which cling to my body rather than baggy hoodys. I want R to be happy to be seen with me. I want to be happy within my own skin. I want to have a real new york shopping spree.
Now if thats not motivation I don't know what it. Anyways I better hit the books, putting it of is not going to help. Thats one of my new years resolutions. I still haven't posted them on here and its practically the middle of January now. I'll post it later today during a revision break.
Hope your all doing well, I shall catch up on reading your blogs soon no doubt as an excuse not to revise!! Love you all xxx
Wednesday 6 January 2010
Monday 4 January 2010
Right, Lets try and have a catch up since it's been so long since I've posted.
I spent New Years Eve over R's house (that guy from work) There was only us two and his friend there but I didn't want to go to a party because I had work the next day. I had done hungover in work before, it's really not fun!
It was a really good night though, and after some film watching and beating both the boys at guitar hero we started drinking. I then continued to drink, get very drunk and lay on the floor giggling. I fell asleep on laying on R's friend and then woke up to be sick.
They were sweet though, he held my hair back whilst R rubbed my back and held a bowl for me. I was so embarrassed!
I fell back to sleep on his friend but whilst i was semi-conscious I felt his hands all over me, down my jeans, up my top, wandering and there wasn't anything I could do about it. He asked me the next morning what I could remember, I replied nothing after being sick. I didn't know how to deal with it.
I went to work obviously with an enormous hang over and immediately regretting saying I would work it. Double time though and it was a really quiet day so we were basically getting paid over £11 an hour to talk. Not Bad.
Me and R are getting really really close. I know I have feelings for him now, I'm not going to deny it. The problems?
1. It's not half of what I felt for the ex which is why I've been confused.
2. He's shorter than me.
3. He's younger than me.
I'm a typical vain girl and the height and age are real issues for me. If only... He's such a sweet person though, he always tells me how amazing I look and he sent me a really cute email about how amazing I am, and waking up to a hug from me was the best start to a new year possible.
I weighed myself as soon as I got home from work on New Years day so I'm going to say I entered 2010 at 137! I'm going to enter 2011 at 100! I weighed this morning and I was 136.4. Not bad since I haven't been restricting or anything. My eating habits have been messed up due to my sleeping patterns though.
I was supposed to spend today revising and doing homework ready for the first day back to school tomorrow. Instead I have spent the day sleeping, getting ready and I'm going over R's in about half an hour. Boys are such a distraction, I really need to get my but into gear.
Yesterday was good as well though. I went shopping and I caught up with some friends I haven't seen in ages. Bit of a downer that one of them is going to court for possession, but hey. Shouldn't have gotten caught!
It was bad as well though. Hanging out with the old friends brought back old habits. Such as smoking. I don't want to smoke but at the same time I do. Strange. I hadn't smoked in ages either despite the odd craving, then yesterday I had 3 cigarettes to myself, plus multiple puffs from the friends.
R came over after I got dropped back home yesterday. Damn he is in my life so much!
Tomorrow means school, work, and back to restricting. Hello a brand new 2010 me :)I promise to update more xxx
I spent New Years Eve over R's house (that guy from work) There was only us two and his friend there but I didn't want to go to a party because I had work the next day. I had done hungover in work before, it's really not fun!
It was a really good night though, and after some film watching and beating both the boys at guitar hero we started drinking. I then continued to drink, get very drunk and lay on the floor giggling. I fell asleep on laying on R's friend and then woke up to be sick.
They were sweet though, he held my hair back whilst R rubbed my back and held a bowl for me. I was so embarrassed!
I fell back to sleep on his friend but whilst i was semi-conscious I felt his hands all over me, down my jeans, up my top, wandering and there wasn't anything I could do about it. He asked me the next morning what I could remember, I replied nothing after being sick. I didn't know how to deal with it.
I went to work obviously with an enormous hang over and immediately regretting saying I would work it. Double time though and it was a really quiet day so we were basically getting paid over £11 an hour to talk. Not Bad.
Me and R are getting really really close. I know I have feelings for him now, I'm not going to deny it. The problems?
1. It's not half of what I felt for the ex which is why I've been confused.
2. He's shorter than me.
3. He's younger than me.
I'm a typical vain girl and the height and age are real issues for me. If only... He's such a sweet person though, he always tells me how amazing I look and he sent me a really cute email about how amazing I am, and waking up to a hug from me was the best start to a new year possible.
I weighed myself as soon as I got home from work on New Years day so I'm going to say I entered 2010 at 137! I'm going to enter 2011 at 100! I weighed this morning and I was 136.4. Not bad since I haven't been restricting or anything. My eating habits have been messed up due to my sleeping patterns though.
I was supposed to spend today revising and doing homework ready for the first day back to school tomorrow. Instead I have spent the day sleeping, getting ready and I'm going over R's in about half an hour. Boys are such a distraction, I really need to get my but into gear.
Yesterday was good as well though. I went shopping and I caught up with some friends I haven't seen in ages. Bit of a downer that one of them is going to court for possession, but hey. Shouldn't have gotten caught!
It was bad as well though. Hanging out with the old friends brought back old habits. Such as smoking. I don't want to smoke but at the same time I do. Strange. I hadn't smoked in ages either despite the odd craving, then yesterday I had 3 cigarettes to myself, plus multiple puffs from the friends.
R came over after I got dropped back home yesterday. Damn he is in my life so much!
Tomorrow means school, work, and back to restricting. Hello a brand new 2010 me :)I promise to update more xxx
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