Paramore & YM@6 ♥ ♥

This morning I weighed 137.4 lbs. So not quite a whole pound lost but it's good enough for after only one day of fasting. I weighed just now as well and At 11.37 at night I still weight, 137.4 lbs. Not Bad.

That Paramore concert was tonight. Paramore and You Me At Six were amazing. I was near the front of the crowd. I was being shoved and elbowed from all sides. Trust me, I am in so much pain right now. But it was worth it.

Waiting in the freezing cold for three hours made my legs go stiff though so I was in pain before I even got in there. Then jumping up and down for about four hours. Let hope some calories were burnt in that process :)

They played a mixture of songs from their new album (Brand New Eyes) and some of their old stuff, which I love. And You Me At Six have got a new album coming out in January. Of course I was screaming the words along with the rest :P

I ate today. Doing so well in my fast, then I go and eat 5 small chocolate bars. I hate Mondays as that's when the food shopping is delievered. That's all I ate though all day, so hopefully tomorrow I will be down again.

No more eating until I weigh 134.

The concert was amazing thinspiration though. Hayley Williams is beautfilly skinny and their music attracts all the skinny emo/ scene kids. Exactually who I wish I could be. It's put me in an amazing mood and I'm even more determnined to loose weight.

I had a bath in the middle of blogging so I'm not so hot and sticky anymore thankfully. No school for me tomorrow, I'm spending the day "recovering." Besides. It's Christmas. The work we are doing is minimal anyways...

Skeleton You Are My Friend ♥

Ok, my recent Kate Nash addition is officially over. I go through these stages where I'm obsessed with one particular thing, and won't do anything else. It could be music, films, people, hobby or even a particular subject which interests me. I'm not exactly sure what my next obsession is yet. I'm sure I'll soon discover it.

I've gained weight this weekend. I'm not too bothered because I know I can loose it throughout the week. Hopefully. I noticed my chest bones today. Beautiful bones. I'm still not slim enough though. My mum thinks my dieting days are over which is good. My eating in front of her is working then. Tomorrow I shall make a starvation day then Tuesday I'll eat as little as possible. Wednesday shall be a normal eating day. Thursday a starvation day.

138 for Friday please.

I want to get back into photography, but my favourite model has gone out of shape. Me. So Loosing weight will hopefully inspire my interest back up again.

I can tell I'm trying to change who I am. I've dyed my hair darker. It's the first time I've dyed it so I only used a semi-permanent dye. Next time I'm going to try black. I'm also buying clothes I wouldn't normally buy. I brought blue jeans today instead of black. They're still skinnies but they're a different colour. A new coat as well. For me! I hate coats.

I'm re-making myself.

I've had a really good chilled weekend. I probably needed it. The result? I'm behind on school work again. I think it was worth it for me to cheer myself up. I've been so stressed recently, under pressure to reach others and my own expectations. Now I've had a break, I can go back to it!

I've just found a girl from school is promoting herself as a photographer. Actually looking for photography work. I wish I could do something like that. She took photography for an ALevel though, I did not. She has more experience than me. I was not allowed to pressure my hobby as a career. My parents would have been highly disappointed in me.

Living up to their expectations.

Ew. I've got 4 warts on my hands, what am I? Some sort of witch? It's truly disgusting. I've put stuff on them which makes them itch loads. Life is cruel.

Saw New Moon for the second time in the cinema today. I didn't really want to but the sister was insisting. Last night ?I watched Paranormal Activity. It really freaked me out, but didn't have any lingering effects thank god. I was not afraid to go to the toilet, unlike my sister :)

I'm back on talking terms with the ex-boyfriend and the best friend. I hope this lasts I really don't want anymore arguments.

I'm Breaking Through These Walls ♥

Ok, I don't want to turn this into a weight loss blog like my last one was but weight is definitely a huge issue in my life so it may dominate some posts. I had an eating day today, this is to stop my metabolism from slowing down so much that I don't loose any weight. But I haven't lost any serious weight in ages. I wish I had the time to do more exercise...

This weekend I don't have much compulsory school work to do, so I'm hopefully going to spend my time doing non-compulsory school work which still needs to be done really. Things like sorting out folders and typing up my messy notes. I've started. I'm aiming to go to bed about 11 ish tonight and I'll do work right until then (It's about 8.45 now.)

My last lesson was cancelled today so I was hoping I would be able to go home early and start to type up some notes. But no. Turns out I had missed quite a bit in my Welsh Bac folder and the deadline is today. So I spent my lunch and my last lesson completing that! What a waste of time. I bet I'm not even in the sample. I never am. And I still forgot to give in my check for the America trip and to get the module names of my sociology teacher so I can finish filling in this freaking UCAS form.

New Moon is officially out! I cannot wait to see it, seriously. I've planned to go to the cinema with my sister on Sunday morning to see it. I'm so jealous, some people from school went to the midnight showing last night. They were all dying in school of course but it would have been so worth it. I can't wait to gaze at Jacob's gorgeous body.

Yummy!

Got my ITunes on at the moment. It's in serious need of updating, that's another job for this weekend. Katy Perry is Love. I forgot how good she is. My music taste seems to change daily, one minute it's Panic! At The Disco and the next it's Cheryl Cole. Strange. Buy anyways ITunes has just over 100 songs so updating that might take me a while. Saturday night? I think so.

I'm not seeing the boyfriend again this weekend. I haven't seen him all day either. Maybe he'll get the message? I feel so cruel but I've never been in this situation before. I don't know what to do to be honest. I'm a novice in this situation.

Why Can't He Do It For Me?

I'm drinking Ribena to reduce my hunger cravings. Not really working if I'm honest but it's keeping me distracted. It's too late to eat. My body won't have enough time to burn of the calories so it's just not up for consideration.

Oh Yeah. Something I just remembered. Me and my best friend spent ages waiting in the Sex Clinic yesterday (she had an appointment. Not me!) When she went in, I left to get picked up by my Dad. She rang me afterwards and told me her darkest secret. Seriously no one knows. To be honest, I wish she kept it that way. I wish I didn't know.

I'll write it on here, no one will know who she is anyway. She has some kind of Bladder infection which means she can't always control her bladder. So basically, she wets herself. She wears those pad things for old ladies in her pants - permanently! I didn't want to know this. She took her pad out for the swab and she wet herself.

I feel so guilty because it makes me want to stay away from her. I know she can't help it, and I would never have known unless she had told me. But It's a bit weired and I can't get over it.

Some things should remain a secret.

I have work all day tomorrow, but my best work friend is in, so hopefully he will be able to stop the day from dragging too much! I don't want it to be busy either because then I'm just rushed of my feet, I get tired and I tend to binge eat when I get home. Not a good thing. Shouldn't be too bad though.

I Think This Weekend Is Going To Be A Good One.