Paramore & YM@6 ♥ ♥

This morning I weighed 137.4 lbs. So not quite a whole pound lost but it's good enough for after only one day of fasting. I weighed just now as well and At 11.37 at night I still weight, 137.4 lbs. Not Bad.

That Paramore concert was tonight. Paramore and You Me At Six were amazing. I was near the front of the crowd. I was being shoved and elbowed from all sides. Trust me, I am in so much pain right now. But it was worth it.

Waiting in the freezing cold for three hours made my legs go stiff though so I was in pain before I even got in there. Then jumping up and down for about four hours. Let hope some calories were burnt in that process :)

They played a mixture of songs from their new album (Brand New Eyes) and some of their old stuff, which I love. And You Me At Six have got a new album coming out in January. Of course I was screaming the words along with the rest :P

I ate today. Doing so well in my fast, then I go and eat 5 small chocolate bars. I hate Mondays as that's when the food shopping is delievered. That's all I ate though all day, so hopefully tomorrow I will be down again.

No more eating until I weigh 134.

The concert was amazing thinspiration though. Hayley Williams is beautfilly skinny and their music attracts all the skinny emo/ scene kids. Exactually who I wish I could be. It's put me in an amazing mood and I'm even more determnined to loose weight.

I had a bath in the middle of blogging so I'm not so hot and sticky anymore thankfully. No school for me tomorrow, I'm spending the day "recovering." Besides. It's Christmas. The work we are doing is minimal anyways...

Through The Times

I appologise in advance, I'm probably going to be blogging more and more during this fasting period. :)

Its 12 (dinner time) and so fat I've survived. My nan has arrived to cook Sunday dinner for us all. The potatoes are my particular weakness. I have a plan though. I'm going to bring my food unstairs, cut it up and flush it down the toilet. That way, there is no evidence that I didn't eat it.

I just need the willpower not to shove the potatoes and gravy down my throat. It shouldn't be to hard, its only day one.

I'm keeping myself occupied by doing the school work thats piled p. Tonight I'm going to exerice for a full hour. Recently I haven't made it that long and I've been stopping at 45 minutes but tonight will be different.

I need to stock up on energy drinks for tomorrow. Going to a concert on no food for two days won't be the best idea so I'm hoping maybe some sugarfree Red Bull will keep me going. It normally does :)

Means to an End

Starting Date: 13th December 2009
Diet: Fast
Starting Weight: 138.2 lbs
Diet Length: Until I reach 134 lbs
Guidelines: Consume no food products.
All drinks must be minimal calories/ diet.
Total calories per day <200
Cheats: Only if I am dying of hunger.
10 Calorie soup in a mug

Let the weight loss begin :)

Making Changes

I seem to have hit a weight plateau, the scales seem to like hovering between 138 and 139. I can't do anything about it today, working an 8 hour shift. If I don't eat it's a nightmare and plus I'll have my manager on my case.

Starting tomorrow (Sunday 13th December) I'm starting a fast until I reach 134. Fasts are difficult for me with food permanatly on my mind but I need to do this to make the stubborn scales shift.

I'll post more later, I should be getting ready for work :\ x

I Want Your Everything ♥

I ate so much, I'm so worried. I was doing fine all day and then I went and ruined it. I don't even know why I agreed to go to the cinema I have loads of work to do. Just something different I guess. A hint at a social life.

Why does the cinema involve food? All sugar-fulled and nice. It's so unfair. I'm going to be such a fat blob tomorrow. I fitted into a size 10 pair of jeans today as well. Only just but I thought it would be enough to stop me binging.

I'm starting a semi-fast tomorrow lasting through to Saturday. Shall I say, 300 Calories a day? Including drinks because I don't like water. And as a reward, I'll allow myself to eat on Sunday. If I fail, Sunday will be a complete fast day and no drinks other than Water the rest of the week.

Please work.

My Fingertips Are Holding On ♥

I have found the Song which is perfectly relevant to my life at the moment. Well, my relationship anyway. I did a little updating of my ITunes and one was an artist which I used to listen to religiously. I had forgotten about this song but it explains things perfectly.

Foundations by Kate Nash

Yesterday work dragged. My best work friend (A) was making fun of me the whole time because of the new boy. He was showing off basically. "Look at me I'm the big man who can make fun of everyone." I wasn't happy. As soon as the new boy left though, A was back to normal, having heart-to-heart talks with me and expecting me to help him with his job.

How Predictable.

It just goes to show, that it doesn't matter how close you think you are with your friends. It's never real. I don't think I trust any kind of relationship anymore. Family, Friendship, Love. All it does is hurt you in the end so you might as well indulge them for a while but always remember. They're nothing special.

Your in it alone.

I can tell this blog entry is going to be all depressing, feeling sorry for myself. I'm in one of those moods. I can't seem to be happy. I've been angry at the boyfriend, the sister, a friend and random people today. One of those days.

I saw New Moon this morning. It totally lived up to the expectations. The best film I have ever seen, defiantly the new favourite in my books. The love between Bella and Edward. I wish I had something like that. It is unimaginable. It shows how much people who love you can hurt you though.

I Cried.

I've eaten my whole body weight in food this weekend as well, so that is what is affecting my depressive mood. In work, they had chocolates in the canteen, and I couldn't help myself. One, Two, Three, More... Came home from work and ate chips and curry sauce from the shop down the road. Then the cinema today. Chocolate. Pringles. Sugary drinks.

I'm not going to eat for the next 2 days. At least. I'll only start to eat again when I have reached 142 pounds. (It's back up to almost 145.) I'm so ashamed. It takes me weeks to lose weight and then Boom. One weekend where I've overindulged and all that hard work has gone.

Damn it.

Tonight I'm going to tidy my room and do some homework. It's time to get back into old habits. Since going out with Connel I've let myself go. Gained weight and stopped wearing as much make up. Let my room get into a state and my school work is lagging.

The 20Th Century Is When It All Changes. And You've Got To Be Ready.