So much for updating regulary, I have been busy though. When I say busy I mean seeing R from work, seriously almost everyday this week when I should have been making the most of no school and revising. We get literally a whole extra week off because of the snow, and yet I have yet to open my psychology folder. I have skipped school today to revise so I'm going to make this quick.
Yes well. Me and R are kind of seeing each other. He doesn't want to go public because his best friend disagrees with us. He thinks its too soon after R split from his ex and the fact his ex still cares about him greatly. R just wants to keep the peace which is fair enough, but in the meantime we're seeing each other secretly.
Everytime he kisses me my heart jolts. Everytime he touches my bare skin my stomach kind of flips. Sounds like cheese but it's true. He says the sweetest things as well, he actually makes me feel good about myself. I love spending all this time with him because when he's with me I feel like I have nothing to worry about.
On the weight side I've started gaining. This always happens when I get into a relationship because I feel so happy. I haven't yet gone back up to 140 pounds though, I'm going to start making a conscious effort again common think motivation.
R is shorter than me and dead skinny meaning he weighs less. I want to sit on his lap without panicing and appologising for my heaviness. I want to be able to feel entirely comfortable with him touching my body. I want to wear better clothes which cling to my body rather than baggy hoodys. I want R to be happy to be seen with me. I want to be happy within my own skin. I want to have a real new york shopping spree.
Now if thats not motivation I don't know what it. Anyways I better hit the books, putting it of is not going to help. Thats one of my new years resolutions. I still haven't posted them on here and its practically the middle of January now. I'll post it later today during a revision break.
Hope your all doing well, I shall catch up on reading your blogs soon no doubt as an excuse not to revise!! Love you all xxx
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awww, you sound so happy!
ReplyDeletei can totally relate to you! by boyfriend is short (well he's probably like 1 inch taller than me). and he's kinda little for a guy. but when we first met i think we weighed the same. but i know how u feel, you want to feel light so he can pick u up and stuff. and c'mon. we are girls, we like to feel petite in relation to our guy!!
take care, and all the best :)
OMG i am completely in the same position! i just started dating my best friend ever. i waited for a while because he is really skinny and i wanted to be skinnier than him. but i gave in, and so we are together. he loves me and im so happy, but yes, i want to be comfortable with him, with myself, and be in his arms, skinny, and happy. but when i am happy i lose weight, not gain it, because i am too distracted. i gain weight when im sad because i eat. but i will not let that ruin everything this time. oh and we are having a secret relationship also because his ex hates his guts and if she knew she would turn everyone against me. but i am happy. good luck with your weight loss. maybe we can talk and keep each other going!!! my blog is MISS MELONCHOLY.
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